This Page - Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians healthy self-esteem, discussion on self-love, self-image, self-acceptance, coming out to self. (Finally dealing with your sexual orientation, how to see it as something normal and positive, and learning to love and accept that part of your total self).
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s time has passed and as I have spent time assisting people in furthering their walk with Jesus it is my firm belief the majority of difficulties people experience regarding sexuality and sexual orientation really have nothing to do with these issues.
Rather, I believe they instead wrestle with self-love, self-image, self-acceptance, self-actualization and self-esteem. When these truer issues are addressed in Jesus Christ then the sexuality and sexual orientation will naturally and without effort fall into place and its proper holy expression.
You've been miserable because you've believed and listened to yourself and people who've told you that you are miserable. Now it is time to listen to what God believes about you.
ou are gay. So, what are you going to do about it? Deny it? Hide it? Repress it? Suppress it? Try to change it? Walk in it in ways that are hurtful? Beat yourself up about it? Or, celebrate it? Walk in it in all that God desires for you? Kind of sounds like a choice doesn't it? Yes, in many ways it is.
We often cannot control the actions and reactions of people and the world around us, our circumstances, but we can control how we will react to them or act on them. We often cannot control the way we are, how we look, why we have some talents and abilities and not others. You choose to let things get to you, bother you, defeat you. You choose to let things tear you down, demean self, corrupt the image of God within you. You cannot prevent birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair. You may not be able to alter your physical circumstances, or your social circumstances, say move to another city, place of employment or classroom where you would be more accepted publicly as being gay, for example. But, you can live positively as a gay person even in a supposedly hostile atmosphere; you can live with yourself positively as a gay person. To be yourself, including your sexuality, as God desires you to be, may require you to be bold, be brave, be decisive, be creative, be risky, be willing to take a stand for freedom, all under the banner and guide of Godly Love.
This Godly Love is going to require you to tear down that which is built on sand to build that which is based on firm foundations which cannot be moved. Jesus is your Rock, the Sure Foundation Which Cannot Be Moved. It will require you to tear down false patterns and ways of thinking, living, behaviors, expectations and so-called needs, and build in their place healthy patterns that lead to your edification and growth. It will require you to be willing to take risks, to boldly go where you've never gone before, into uncharted land, an unknown future, walking in faith (believing in that which you cannot see for the hope of attaining that which can be seen) and trusting your God has your best interests at heart. It will require you to break and let go of rules, laws, and regulations you've created for yourself or that other people have thrust upon you to bind you, to keep you fettered in the chains of self-bondage and false shame.
It requires you to Love, and you have the free will to Love. Love is a choice.
Love wants you to make healthy choices, healthy decisions that lead to the edification of yourself, other people, and your world. Love doesn't want you to be anything less than what you should be. Love doesn't want you to be bound, nor live a life or a lifestyle that hurts and abuses self or other people. Jesus came to set the captives free, to free you from the bondage of fear. Perfect Love casts out fear. Jesus is our Love.
You've been miserable because you've seen yourself as miserable. Meanwhile, God has been seeing you as someone special. So, you need to begin to see as God sees, and walk in this sight. You've been miserable because you've been trying to live as someone else, someone other than who you really are, a false life, a false identity. You've been trying to live the way other people have said you should live, or as you believe you are supposed to live, and you've been miserable the whole time because it isn't your life you've been living, but someone else's. Your real self, deep inside you, has been crying out to be free. You can't find true peace until you are who you are, and you can't find peace unless you also walk and live as the real person you are in accordance with God's best for you.
Let this real person out. Come out to self. It's ok. It's ok to be gay. I know, it's scary, but it's a good kind of scary. It means being genuine, and isn't that what you've really desired? No, you are not going to find instant happiness, or the instant end of all your problems. But, this is the start of their end, and the beginning of your more lasting inner happiness and peace.
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