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s time has passed and as I have spent time assisting people in furthering their walk with Jesus it is my firm belief the majority of difficulties people experience regarding sexuality and sexual orientation really have nothing to do with these issues.
Rather, I believe they instead wrestle with self-love, self-image, self-acceptance, self-actualization and self-esteem. When these truer issues are addressed in Jesus Christ then the sexuality and sexual orientation will naturally and without effort fall into place and its proper holy expression.
God is worthy of our trust; Jesus always has our best interests at heart. God desires us to be the best we can be, to be fully ourselves in Christ. To be ourselves fully, we must put to death our old ways of thinking, our old habits and poor choices, and embrace God and Christ's rule of Love.
am ever amazed at people who abide in an abusive relationship. Why? Why do they stay in the relationship? Is enduring the abusive and dysfunctional present life less painful than the fear of an unknown future? Why do people cling to unhealthy things? Why do people cling to unhealthy people and relationships? Why do people cling to unhealthy things, people and relationships when they KNOW they are unhealthy? It is a puzzle. There must be something there that seems worth it, but I think whatever it is, it is not good.
I am ever amazed at people who abide in dysfunctional lifestyles that demean, use or abuse self or other people. Why? Why do they continue the patterns? Is the less than best present life they feed off of less fearful than a future with an unknown course? Why do people cling to unhealthy things? They must get some kind of support, result, satisfaction, whatever to cling to it, even though not the best. Whatever there is that seems worth it all it is not what God desires.
To make changes from an unhealthy life or lifestyle to a healthy one means leaving behind the unhealthy and embracing the new. It means you have to begin to let go of the old and walk in the new. The word "repentance" means an "about face," a "one hundred eighty degree turn," to "turn around and go in a completely different direction." When you accept Christ as your Savior and Lord, you are called to put to death your old ways of thinking, old patterns and habits, and arise to newness of life.
Usually, when you have a funeral and bury something, you leave it buried and you don't dig it up again. But, people have a tendency of digging up old patterns of life, old ways of thinking, scripts if you want to call them that, again and again and again. People get stuck in ruts and they follow the same patterns of thinking and behavior, even when they know they are unhealthy. But, the Scriptures say if "anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation, the old is passed away, behold, all has become new." Well, if that is the case, then why do people often still act like things have not become new? Sadly, many Christians don't see the newness in themselves, the new opportunities to walk in new life, new paths, new beginnings, and so they follow the same old patterns of their old natures, which should be dead and buried forever. Sadly, they don't see that all has become new because they are too busy looking over their shoulders, pining after or clinging to the old ways. Sadly, they can't see the new because they're obsessed with the old. Romans 12:2; II Corinthians 5:17; Ephesians 4:22-5:1-2; Colossians 3:10
You're in Christ, and Christ has a desire to do a new work in you, create a new approach to your sexuality, and a new and positive way to walk therein. If you try to figure it out on your own, you'll fall flat on your face. If you let Jesus and the Holy Spirit lead you, leading outward from your new heart, then you will find it.
You often can't control the way the world is around you, you may have had little control over the negative things that happened to you as a child or adolescent, etc., but you can control how you react to them, reject or act on them. More often than not, how you've controlled yourself is to develop patterns of behavior, coping, and thinking which are not positive. Now, Christ desires you to change your way of thinking, help you bury the past, learn from it what you need to learn, then let the rest go. Jesus wants to teach you how to handle negative things in the future in a positive way, and rethink the way you see yourself and your sexuality.
To walk in the sexuality God desires for you means beginning to be genuine with yourself, get real with yourself about your sexuality. You are gay, and your struggle with being gay has really been a struggle against self, not against your sexuality. Because you've seen your sexuality as a negative thing, you've seen yourself as a negative thing. Because you've seen yourself as a negative thing, you've probably gotten involved in patterns of thinking and behaviors that are not good, not Love, not positive, uplifting and edifying. Some of those negative thoughts and behaviors may have even included poor behaviors and choices, poor sexual behaviors or habits, or even poor relationships. These negative thoughts and activities have served as a re-enforcer to yourself that you are indeed a terrible person.
Turning your back on old patterns, ways of thinking and acting, poor ideas and views of self, false images created to hide your real self, is a scary thing. It means letting go of the unhealthy things to which you have clung, and instead clinging to God and trusting in Jesus for your future. It means throwing away your crutches, your false safety blankets, it may even mean losing or leaving the false world in which you've lived, and launching out into an unknown future.
The foundation to this first step and every step thereafter is the sincere trust, faith and belief in God, that Jesus and God do, indeed, Love you without condition. It is the belief God does have a plan for you, and part of that plan includes your sexuality. It is trust in Jesus and the Holy Spirit to teach and guide you, show you your life plan and how to walk positively therein. God is the Master Builder, God holds the blueprints to your life. I think God is not only more than capable of knowing what is best for you, what you're designed to be, but to actually build you into that holy building. Don't you?
God created you unique and special, and God doesn't make junk. Despite what you've been told, or what you've told yourself, your sexual orientation in and of itself is not wrong. However, the choices you make within your sexual orientation can lead you to error, to less than God's best for you. This is true whether a person is gay or straight. A straight person is not blessed by God simply because he or she is straight, no more than a gay person is cursed by God for being gay; sexual orientation is neutral. A straight person can walk in his or her sexual orientation outside of God's best, outside of Love, and so can a gay person, so can you. We can recognize this truth in all other aspects of life, and yet we so often try to say it doesn't apply to sexuality. We know there is nothing inherently evil about playing cards, there are lots of fun card games, but you can also play card games that will cause you to become addicted to gambling, lose you entire life. The same is true with television, movies, dancing, and even eating. Some people can eat anything and it is no big deal to them, but for other people food becomes a crutch to mask deeper emotional problems.
God wants us to reverence our sexual orientation and our sexuality. Jesus wants you to walk in your sexuality in Love, just as God desires you to walk in Love in all other aspects of your being. Jesus wants to show you how you can be positive, healthy, mature, responsible and holy in your sexuality and your relationships through it.
God really is worthy of your trust. You may be skittish in trusting God because your trust may have been hurt in the past by people or life or circumstances. But, it was they who let you down, not God. God always has your best interests at heart; I cannot say this enough. God really does care for you. God really does have a plan for you and your sexuality. That plan is good, holy, pure, and Love. That plan, and the Author of it, will lead you into fullness of life, genuine living, liberty in Christ. Put your trust in God and Jesus Christ. Do not be afraid. Let go of the old ways you have clung to, seeking security and some sense of peace. Embrace God and Christ's new ways and receive lasting security, lasting peace, and proper balance in your sexuality. Let God teach you the healthy ways to express both yourself and your sexuality. Let the Holy Spirit show you ways in your life which are not edifying, which are not in your best interests, and then let God heal them, or, if necessary, remove them, whereby you might find wholeness.
See Also: Sanctification.
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