Gay Christian Online - Self-Esteem - Risky Living Verses Healthy Risks - Page Eight
Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians healthy self-esteem, discussion on risky living verses healthy risks.
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Gay Christian Online - Self-Esteem - Risky Living Verses Healthy Risks - Page Eight

PREFACE
LIFE'S QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
JESUS, GOD'S LOVE
THE LAW OF CHRIST, THE LAW OF LOVE
GUILT AND SHAME, PART ONE
GUILT AND SHAME, PART TWO
GUILT AND SHAME, PART THREE
MISINFORMATION ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY
CHILDHOOD AND ADOLESCENCE
FALSE COPING SKILLS
RISKY LIVING
HEALTHY RISKS
LETTING GO OF THE OLD WAYS
ADDICTIONS AND COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS
SEXUAL COMPULSION
RELATIONSHIPS
ADULT DEVELOPMENT
SELF-LOVE, SELF-IMAGE AND SELF-ACCEPTANCE
SELF-ACTUALIZATION
SELF APPLICATION
COMING OUT, PART ONE
COMING OUT, PART TWO
BEYOND COMING OUT
CONCLUSION
END OF THIS PAGE

Gay Christian Self-Esteem - Preface HOME

s time has passed and as I have spent time assisting people in furthering their walk with Jesus it is my firm belief the majority of difficulties people experience regarding sexuality and sexual orientation really have nothing to do with these issues.

Rather, I believe they instead wrestle with self-love, self-image, self-acceptance, self-actualization and self-esteem. When these truer issues are addressed in Jesus Christ then the sexuality and sexual orientation will naturally and without effort fall into place and its proper holy expression.

Sadly though, many people would rather live a life other than what is God's best for them. For some people, the fear of an unknown future is scarier than clinging to, living in a less than best present existence. For some people, the fear of really being themselves as God intends is much scarier than being less than who they could be.

Gay Christian Self-Esteem - Risky Living HOME

f you want something positive and healthy in life, sometimes you have to take risks to achieve them.

Walking in Love is a total unknown sometimes. We do not know if we will be Loved and accepted in return. But, this doesn't matter. Love Loves even when rejected. We are not called to be Loved and accepted by others but rather to Love and accept others whether or not they ever accept us. We are called to wash the feet of those who will not wash our feet. We are called to Love and accept ourselves, to wash our own feet, too.

Life is risk, and if you risk not you shall never live, but merely exist. To risk means to expose yourself to both hugs and hits, acceptance and rejection. If you strive to avoid all the hurts and wounds and rejections of life, you shall miss out on all the hugs and acceptance of life. So, you risk, and in risking you get knocked around sometimes, but Christ is ever there, to heal and to help. The hugs you receive from Christ and life will help heal and comfort whatever rejections and hurts life brings. God does not promise to take us out of our struggles and troubles but rather through them. God took Noah through the flood, Moses through the Red Sea, Daniel through the lion's den, and Jesus through the Cross to the joy of the resurrection; God promises to take you through, too.

We grow and we learn when we risk to live. Fear not, risk and live life to the fullest. God has a plan and purpose for your life unique to you. Seek God and you shall find that plan. Seek the plan, or strive to find it or create it on your own and you shall fail. It is birthed in God and it must be completed in God.

Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel Ceiling, Ignudo, A Supportive Angel, God Separates Light From Darkness - OR Holiday Picture - See Best of Pictures Whatever form this plan takes, first and foremost in your life, your calling is to be nothing but Love. We are called to be, not to do. Our doing is secondary to our being. God is satisfied with your being a Child of God. Whether you are called to be the world's greatest pastor, or the world's greatest street sweeper, or just another employee in a cubicle in a large and impersonal corporation, all this is secondary to being a Child of God. Being gay or straight is secondary to being a Child of God. You do not get your identity in your sexual orientation but in Jesus Christ. When people see you they should see Jesus first, your sexual orientation way down the line. In being a Child of God there comes satisfaction in your doing when your being is Love. Do not strive under your own strength, rest in Jesus, let Jesus be your desire, and all these other things and needs of life shall be added to you.

The plan God has for your life may cause some people to laugh at you, reject, hate and persecute you. People also laughed at and rejected the prophets and Jesus Christ. If people will reject you in this world for being a Christian, shall you not then expect some people to reject you for being yourself as God plans? Shall you then reject God's plan for your life, strive for an easier path? God forbid. If you do, you shall never find peace. You will not really be yourself, be the person you are meant to be, would you? You would live as someone you are not, and what joy is there in that? None.

Sadly though, many people would rather live a life other than what is God's best for them. For some people, the fear of an unknown future is more scary than clinging to, living in a less than best present existence. For some people, the fear of really being themselves as God intends is much more scary than being less than who they could be. But fear is the opposite of Love, and God's Love takes away our fears, gives us the promise of new life, hope and new beginnings.

Gay Christian Self-Esteem - Healthy Risks HOME

ne of the first risks in living a healthy life as a gay man or lesbian woman is the healthy risk of acknowledging to self that you are gay. Instead of suppressing it, or repressing it, try expressing it in the manner and form God intends for your life. This desire to express it or at least acknowledge it has been occurring in your life all along, from childhood into adulthood. What has most often happened, however, is every time you've tried to think about it, acknowledge it, explore it, express it, you've quickly rejected or suppressed it. If peers, family, and society were more open and accepting of gays and lesbians, there might be less chance for negative channeling of same sex sexual orientation.

For many people, this first step of acknowledgment doesn't occur until adulthood. Thankfully, today many youth are finding more opportunities to be themselves, to be openly gay. They never experience, or experience to a lesser degree, denial, shame, or the "closet." They are able to follow the natural and normal life developing processes through childhood and adolescence. I am seeing more and more gay youth who are growing up "normal." They have always been "out of the closet," going through childhood and adolescence openly gay, dating, having gay and straight friends, learning about self, self interests, tastes, desires and needs. As a result, they are what I often jokingly refer to as "boringly normal," meaning not showing forth the many common dysfunctional behaviors and lifestyles seen in many gay adults. Hopefully, as more and more gay youth are able to live their lives openly and freely, we will see less and less adult dysfunction. Hopefully, as more and more gay adults are able to see their sexual orientation in a positive light and openly live it in healthy ways, then we will see less and less dysfunction within the gay community.

In being open and honest about their sexuality, these youth do not necessarily find acceptance from peers, family or society, but in self and in God. By seeing self in a more positive and accepting light, then the youth is better able to stand and withstand the negativity from society. If you know you are musically talented, then you not only see it as a special gift and blessing from God, but you are properly able channel it for the benefit of self and the blessing of other people. If you are confronted with people who misunderstand, reject or ridicule, especially because of jealousy, your musical gift, you have the maturity to recognize such things for what they are, reject them, embracing instead self and those who positively support you. The same can be done with sexual orientation, see it as a gift from God, channeled positively for the blessing of self and other people, rejecting negativity in all its forms.

These youth have learned not only to accept self, but also to express self in healthy and positive forms. God has a unique plan for each of us, different from anyone else. God wants you, spirit, soul and body, all in balance and agreement with each other, and in their proper place and expression. God made you, and God is capable of showing you your path, revealing to you not only what God intends for your sexuality, but for your family, career, relationships, etc.

We can look at these positive gay youths as role models and proof of the natural positive development of gay sexuality. We can also see how people who are now adults, but who were unable to live openly as gay youths, can embrace those same positive developmental skills and better their self-image, self-acceptance, etc. and their lives in general.

But, generally in society, for now, we find adults suddenly, at age twenty-one or sixty-one, "coming out" to self. This coming out to self can either be positive or negative. If negative, it may lead to continual repression or compartmentalization. If positive, it leads to the development of a good and positive sexuality and it's proper expression or place in life.

Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel Ceiling, Ignudo, A Supportive Angel, God Divides the Waters - OR Holiday Picture - See Best of Pictures You are not your sexuality, it but a part of who you are. The real you is the inner you, your heart, your spirit. There lies the throne of self. Who sits on this throne? If it is anyone else other than Jesus Christ, you will find no peace, no purpose or rightness in life. Sex should not be seated on the throne, nor your body or mind. How goes your spirit is how goes the rest of you. If you have no peace in your heart, then neither have you peace in your mind or body. If you have no joy, no patience, no faith, no Love in your life, then who sits on your throne? Trials, troubles, and struggles shall always come in life, but if Jesus is sitting on the throne of your heart, then you will be able to find joy, peace, hope and faith in the midst of whatever struggles life throws your way.

Christ will not take your throne; it must be given to Jesus. You have the free will, the choice to let Jesus not only come into your heart, but take control over it. Christ taking Lordship of your heart, your life, isn't a hostile takeover, it isn't being conquered and laid waste, it isn't relinquishing control. It is submission, the recognition you cannot live your life alone, you need help, guidance and assistance. It is trust, a recognition God has your best interests at heart, knows what you need, and knows who you are.

You risk when you let God into your heart, and you risk more when you let Jesus and the Holy Spirit guide your heart. Sometimes Love must tear down in order to build anew, sometimes Love has to wound first to bring healing, sometimes Love has to change temporal things in order to bring into being eternal things. Sometimes Love hurts, but it's a good hurt, always leads to the betterment of self, other people, and life in general.

See Also: How You Can Be A Gay Christian (Despite What You've Been Told Otherwise), What Does Gay Mean?.

od wants you to let go of the old ways of thinking and acting, and embrace a new way, a better way of life. Let's learn how to let go of the old ways...

Gay Christian Self-Esteem - Page Nine - Letting Go Of The Old Ways Gay Christian Self-Esteem - Page Seven - Page One - False Coping Skills - Part One

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