Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Is Change Possible, I Think I Might Be Gay - Page Twelve
Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians wisdom and advice on is change possible, I think I might be gay, and more.
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Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Is Change Possible, I Think I Might Be Gay - Page Twelve

INDEX

Is Being Gay Is Wrong?
The Real Reason Why Sodom Was Destroyed
The Truth About The Role of Women
Does Being Gay Mean Doing Your Own Thing
False And Hurtful Gay Stereotypes
Should I Come Out?
Thanks for Your Website
Is Pornography Good Or Bad?
What To Do If Your Parent Is Gay
Can You Help Me Find A Gay Accepting Church?
Is Masturbation Wrong?
The True Purpose Of Reproduction
What To Do If You Hate Yourself For Being Gay
What To Do If You Are Gay and Married
What To Do If You Discover Your Spouse Is Gay
Is Sex Outside of a Relationship Wrong
What To Do If You Are A Battered Spouse
What To Do After A Relationship Ends
What If My Church Finds Out Iím Gay?
My Gay Spouse Wonít Go to Church
Iím Afraid God Will Reject Me For Being Gay
Should I Leave My Church For Rejecting Me For Being Gay?
What Do These Scriptures Really Mean About Being Gay?
Is Change From Gay To Straight Possible?
I Think I Might Be Gay, How Can I Tell For Sure?
Is Gay Sex Wrong?
How To Correctly Interpret Scripture
What Does Gay Really Mean?
What To Do If A Religious Gay or Lesbian Spouse Leaves
What To Do If You Are Being Used In A Relationship
Is Nudity Ever Acceptable?
END OF THIS PAGE

n my many years as a Minister and Counsellor I am often asked to provide information or referrals to resources, requests for advice on life, questions from people trying to understand themselves and others around them, or assist hurting people needing someone to listen and care.

o, I decided to share with you some of the common responses I give to people, so you might be able to learn and grow from them as I have. Perhaps, these are situations and problems you are having, and my advice, wisdom, and information can assist you in making the right positive, healthy, and responsible choices and decisions.

My wisdom and advice my be just what you seek and need, my answers may surprise or shock you, they might unsettle you, you might refuse to believe what I say and recommend at first (but with time learn and see my point), or I may even upset and anger you. Whether to you who are supportive, you who have troubles, or you who don't understand or oppose: I electronically wash your feet.

Peace and Hugs. Thanks. Ben

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Is Change From Gay To Straight Possible? Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Is Change From Gay To Straight Possible? HOME

I used to be gay, but now I am straight. I went through a Christian center that helped me change. If you want, God can change you, too. You donít have to be gay.

I surprise a lot of people by saying I believe there are many people who are "gay" not because it is God's plan for their lives, not because it is their true sexual orientation, but because of some dysfunction within their life development and processes. Just as there can be heterosexual sexual dysfunction, so can there be homosexual sexual dysfunction. I believe people can change their sexual practices or warp their sexual orientation into that which is not Love or not for the best, not according to their true nature.

Thatís the key, "...not according to their true nature." To say a homosexual can change, you have to equally say a heterosexual can change. If I ask a straight person to change to gay, the reaction would be strong, so foreign, so opposite from normalcy to the person. But, somehow we tell gay people to change, and are surprised when they reply equally strongly. Just as there are a lot of gay people trying to pretend to be straight, there are some straights wrongly living as gay.

Sexual orientation is not based on sexual experience. You can be a virgin and still be straight, or gay. Orientation is not based on the gender with whom you are sexually attracted, but rather relationship attracted. Sex is not the issue, but falling in love and desiring to abide in lifelong monogamous relationship, whether gay or straight.

In reality, when you look at the many case histories of people who claim to be "cured," who have "switched" from being homosexual to heterosexual, the products of "reparative therapy," their life histories often show childhood and/or adolescence gender confusion and/or sexual identity dysfunction. Often, when you look at people claiming change, in reality they were always heterosexual, just finally healed from gender and/or sexual identity or orientation confusion. Some of them, further, were often abused sexually as a child and internalized this trauma, or who somehow grew into some sexual, gender or identity dysfunction which caused them to engage in negative, not positive, sexual behaviors. Victims of sexual or gender abuse, trauma, or confusion does not determine sexual orientation, but rather can dysfunction the orientation and lead to negative behaviors.

Statistics show in the long run a majority of reparative therapy clients fail to change, and often end up more psychologically harmed. Such therapies often use their "cures" to further their political or social agendas, and use out-dated gender therapy and stereotypical models and techniques. For those who suffer from legitimate sexual orientation dysfunction, I recommend spiritual counseling from a trained professional.

Christís Law of Love does not want us to be someone we are not, nor live life less than God desires. So, if you are finally yourself, I rejoice with you. However, if you are in denial, trying to be someone other than your real self, I morn, and will not be surprised when you write me back again someday asking for help. Thanks for writing. The only change I desire to make is to become even more like Jesus. I wash your feet. Peace and hugs, Ben.

See Also: Ex-Gay Ministries Resources.

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - I Think I Might Be Gay Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - I Think I Might Be Gay HOME

I find myself sexually attracted to guys sometimes, but I also like women. Does that mean I am gay? Bisexual? How can I tell or know?

I noticed you wrote, "sexually attracted." You can have a "crush" or romantic interest with someone of the same gender. You can prefer to have friendships and hang around with only members of the same gender. You can like hobbies, interests, or occupations that are considered socially more common of the opposite gender. You can be sexually attracted to someone of the same gender. Any of these things, and/or having or desiring sex with someone of the same or opposite gender, does not determine nor prove your sexual orientation.

I found a definition I think helps clarify just what is sexual orientation, and can help you better know yourself. It is...

"Sexual orientation is determined not by the gender towards whom you are sexually attracted, but rather the gender towards whom you are relationship attracted."

So, the deeper question to ask yourself is, "With whom do I desire to fall in love and abide with in relationship?" If you are capable of equal sexual attraction of both genders, then you are not necessarily bisexual. If you were relationship attracted to someone of the opposite gender, then you would be of that orientation. If you also found you were sexually attracted to someone of the same gender, you would still be of that orientation, but acknowledging you have same-sex sexual attractions. If you were relationship attracted to someone of the same gender, then you would be of that orientation. If you also found you were sexually attracted to someone of the opposite gender, you would still be of that orientation, but acknowledging you have opposite gender sexual attractions. If you were capable of equal relationship attraction of both genders, then you would be bisexual.

Even if you never have a relationship with someone, your inner orientation remains, is a part of who you are, and how you approach life. Knowing who you are, you now have the freedom to choose how to express yourself both regarding relationship and sexually. You can do it within or outside of Christ's Law, His Law of Love. His Love does not want you to make choices that do not edify yourself or others, abusing self and other people; does not want you to be someone you are not, compromise yourself; nor, accept a life less abundant than you can possibly make in this world, be pro-active. This same Law of Love applies to all other aspects of your life and being, too. Follow it.

As you walk in Christ, and His Law, your being will reflect Him, and you will better desire and be capable of making good, healthy, positive and responsible choices for yourself. In addition, your sexual orientation and sexuality will fall naturally into place, their proper expression and position, without having to really think about them. Who you are in total will guide who you are in your sexual orientation.

See Also: Misinformation About Homosexuality, Ethics, Sexual Ethics.

ext page for wisdom and advice on whether or not gay sex is wrong, and how to rightly interpret Scripture...

Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Page Thirteen - Is Gay Sex Wrong? How to Interpret Scripture Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Page Eleven - What Do These Scriptures Mean?

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