Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Doing Your Own Thing, Gay Stereotypes, Should I Come Out - Page Two
Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians wisdom and advice on doing your own thing, gay stereotypes, should I come out, and more.
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Gay Christian Online - Website for Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians, and those who support them. GAY CHRISTIAN
ONLINE INDEX

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Gay Christian Online - Welcome WELCOME
(Website Background)

Gay INTRODUCTION
(Website Purpose)

Gay Christian Online - Website Excerpts
WEBSITE EXCERPTS
(Overview of the Website)

Gay Christian Online - A Page for Straight People A PAGE FOR STRAIGHT PEOPLE
(How to Understand Gays and Lesbians, and Gay Christians.)

Gay Christian Online  The Cause of Homosexuality
THE CAUSE
OF HOMOSEXUALITY

(What Makes Someone Gay or Lesbian; Theories and Causes Explored; The Real Cause Finally Revealed)

Gay Christian Online - How to be a Gay Christian HOW TO BE A GAY CHRISTIAN
(Despite What You've Been Told)

Gay Christian Online - True Verses False Christianity TRUE VERSES FALSE CHRISTIANITY
(True Spirituality)

Gay Christian Online - Scriptures for the Gay Christian GOOD NEWS (SCRIPTURES FOR THE GAY CHRISTIAN)
(Helpful Scriptures For Life)

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Self-Esteem HOW TO BE GAY! GAY CHRISTIAN SELF-ESTEEM
(Build Healthy Self-Esteem: Adult Development, Sources And Effects Of Dysfunction, False Guilt And Shame, Misinformation About Homosexuality, Coping Skills, Destructive Behaviors, Sexual Compulsion, Relationship Development, Coming Out, Inner-Healing, Self-Love, Self-Image, Self-Actualization, Christian Principles For Life, etc.)

Gay Christian Online - Wisdom and Advice WISDOM AND ADVICE
(What Is Gay, Understanding Scripture, Gay Stereotypes, Is Change Possible, Coming Out, My Spouse Is Gay, Battered Spouse, Sex, Relationship, Masturbation, Pornography, Finding A Church, Afraid Of Rejection, Being Found Out, Does God Reject Me, My Parent Is Gay, A Spouse Leaves, Church Problems, etc.)

Gay Christian Online - Living the Gay Christian Life LIVING THE GAY CHRISTIAN LIFE
(Salvation, Baptism, Sanctification, Holiness, Sin, Forgiveness, Communion, Sacraments, Prayer, Fasting, Scripture Study, Giving, Witnessing, Serving, Ethics, Dating & Relationships, Sexual Ethics, Following Jesus - The Challenges and Responsibilities of Relationship, etc.)

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Relationships
GAY CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIPS
(Gay And Married, Gay Dating And Relationships, Friends, Choosing A Church, Being Christian In The Gay World, Following Jesus - The Challenges and Responsibilities of Relationship, etc.)

Gay Christian Online - Coming Out
COMING OUT AS A GAY OR LESBIAN CHRISTIAN
(Defining Sexual Orientation, Misinformation About Sexual Orientation, The Consequences of Living in the Closet, Who You Are and Can Be, Coming Out Internally, Before Coming Out Externally, Coming Out Externally, Beyond Coming Out, etc.)

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Athletics
GAY CHRISTIAN ATHLETICS
(Pass Gym Class: Diet, Supplements, Sleep, Sex, Body Care, Clothes, The Gym, The Locker Room, Etiquette, Exercise Plans)

Gay Christian Online - Books REFERENCED AND RECOMMENDED BOOKS
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Gay Christian Online - Links OTHER INTERNET LINKS
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Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Doing Your Own Thing, Gay Stereotypes, Should I Come Out - Page Two

INDEX

Is Being Gay Is Wrong?
The Real Reason Why Sodom Was Destroyed
The Truth About The Role of Women
Does Being Gay Mean Doing Your Own Thing
False And Hurtful Gay Stereotypes
Should I Come Out?
Thanks for Your Website
Is Pornography Good Or Bad?
What To Do If Your Parent Is Gay
Can You Help Me Find A Gay Accepting Church?
Is Masturbation Wrong?
The True Purpose Of Reproduction
What To Do If You Hate Yourself For Being Gay
What To Do If You Are Gay and Married
What To Do If You Discover Your Spouse Is Gay
Is Sex Outside of a Relationship Wrong
What To Do If You Are A Battered Spouse
What To Do After A Relationship Ends
What If My Church Finds Out Im Gay?
My Gay Spouse Wont Go to Church
Im Afraid God Will Reject Me For Being Gay
Should I Leave My Church For Rejecting Me For Being Gay?
What Do These Scriptures Really Mean About Being Gay?
Is Change From Gay To Straight Possible?
I Think I Might Be Gay, How Can I Tell For Sure?
Is Gay Sex Wrong?
How To Correctly Interpret Scripture
What Does Gay Really Mean?
What To Do If A Religious Gay or Lesbian Spouse Leaves
What To Do If You Are Being Used In A Relationship
Is Nudity Ever Acceptable?
END OF THIS PAGE

n my many years as a Minister and Counsellor I am often asked to provide information or referrals to resources, requests for advice on life, questions from people trying to understand themselves and others around them, or assist hurting people needing someone to listen and care.

o, I decided to share with you some of the common responses I give to people, so you might be able to learn and grow from them as I have. Perhaps, these are situations and problems you are having, and my advice, wisdom, and information can assist you in making the right positive, healthy, and responsible choices and decisions.

My wisdom and advice my be just what you seek and need, my answers may surprise or shock you, they might unsettle you, you might refuse to believe what I say and recommend at first (but with time learn and see my point), or I may even upset and anger you. Whether to you who are supportive, you who have troubles, or you who don't understand or oppose: I electronically wash your feet.

Peace and Hugs. Thanks. Ben

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Doing Your Own Thing Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Doing Your Own Thing HOME

I read your website, you believe you can be both Christian and gay. I don't believe walking in Love means we have the right to walk in sin.

I find the whole idea of telling people they have a license to sin repugnant.

No, we are called to be Love as God is Love, and to be Holy as God is Holy. The apostle Paul wrote we are not to use our liberties in Christ for selfish purposes, but by Love to serve one another. You cannot walk in Love and walk in selfishness; you cannot walk in Love and use or abuse other people. Nor can you walk in Love and misuse the gifts, talents and operations of God, nor neglect to care or help other people.

Not every manifestation of homosexuality is Love, and neither is every manifestation of heterosexuality. How you walk in your sexuality can give opportunities to error. There is not one code for Straight Christians and another for Gay Christians; there is only the Christian code, the Law of Love. The Law of Love compels us to flee from improper sexuality, to treat our bodies as the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and avoid all things that do not profit or edify.

I believe the Law of Christ gives liberty with temperance, Love with justice, grace with holiness. Washing you feet, I close with Peace and hugs, Ben

See Also: Sin, Forgiveness and Restoration, Ethics.

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Gay Stereotypes Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Gay Stereotypes HOME

I don't know how you can justify your lifestyle. You parade down the streets half naked, dressed like women and in weird leather clothes, demand you have the right to have sex anywhere, and now you want to recruit children by demanding our schools teach you are "normal" and should have the right to marry. Stop promoting a lifestyle that is wrong.

Well, being Scotch-Irish, I confess I march in our St. Patrick's Day Parade every year in a kilt, and sometimes wear the kilt at other times, but I've never worn women's clothing; I confess I do wear leather clothing, but that is because I own a farm, and leather clothing is sometimes the best clothing to wear when doing farm work. I'm afraid I just don't fit your stereotypes. I do not have sex with children nor recruit people to my "lifestyle;" I am not into S&M, I don't want to be a woman, and I do not have sex all the time. I am Christian, and Conservative. I am a Parent, a Partner, a volunteer, active in my church and faith, professional in my employment; I am Pro-Family, and even Anti-Abortion (when used as birth control, etc.).

I am afraid little square peg me just doesn't fit in the stereotyped round hole in which you try so hard to fit me. And there are thousands like me; there is just as much diversity within the gay and lesbian community as there is within the heterosexual (straight) community, just as much diversity of race, religion, culture and ethnic background, economics, social conditions, employment, hobbies and interests, values, ethics and morals.

Shall I judge all straight people to be those represented in the New Orleans Mardi Gras Parade every year? Walking around drunk, showing their breasts and genitalia to people, engaging in sex on the streets? God forbid. To say all gay and lesbian people are a certain way is as wrong as to say all straight people are a certain way. I teach Love, and that Love compels compassion and respect.

There is much within the gay and lesbian community that concerns me, many need Jesus, but I have equal concern about the straight community and their lack of Love for God.

The "lifestyle" I promote is neither gay nor straight. I use the term "Gay Christian" instead of "Christian Gay" to emphasize the two are not incompatible, and because some Internet computer programs search text in "word order." But, in reality it is truly "Christian Gay," the "lifestyle" I promote is the "Christian Lifestyle." The Christian Lifestyle, Christ living in your heart, permeates all you are and do, whether in business or in bed. I may not have a choice in my sexual orientation (and I know you can debate that until Jesus comes back), but I was given a choice to be born again in Christ; I choose to follow Jesus and let Him rule in my heart, life and sexuality.

It is my sincere prayer you let Jesus rule in your heart, that you learn the truth of Love. Your opinions are rooted in fears, and the perfect Love of God casts out fear. How can you fear me, a man who cares enough for you to wash your feet and who is willing to embrace you as a fellow brother in Christ? Even if I never receive the same back, fear not for me, my prayers and tears for you will wash my own feet.

You might also want to explore this article just for fun... The Cause of Homosexuality (What Makes Someone Gay Or Lesbian).

See Also: Misinformation About Homosexuality, Books - The Lighter Side of Being Gay and Lesbian.

Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Should I Come Out? Gay Christian Online - Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Should I Come Out? HOME

I live with my parents and go to their church. I know I am gay, and some of my close friends know. But, the church says I am wrong in being gay, so I am afraid to come out to anyone. I don't want to lose my parents, church and friends. I think about coming out but I get scared.

I would guess you are in your teen years or early twenties. This is the time of life when not only are you trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, but also learning whom you are inside. I receive a lot of letters like yours, and some from people later in their lives just starting out or still going through the same things. Every person and situation is unique but there are a few things in common.

First, I hope you are a Christian, have accepted Jesus Christ; just because you go to your parent's church doesn't mean you are automatically a Christian. Having Christ rule your life will affect all aspects of your life.

Coming out to others is difficult, often more so for them than for you. As a Christian, walking in Love, you must use God's Love to discern whether it is really in the best interests of you and the other person for you to come out to him or her.

This is a time in life I would use to build self-esteem, self-image, self-confidence, and in learning to grow in the Lord, rather than in spending time coming out to others. I write the same with others later in their lives, too. By doing this, you grow and mature in Christ, build yourself up to better be able to handle the results you may encounter by coming out. As you grow, you will naturally desire to come out to some people, and you will have the maturity in Love to know how, when, and in what way to come out, and the person will hopefully also see you as a wonderful daughter, friend and child of God.

But, a word of caution. Respecting others must also be balanced in respecting yourself. Sometimes, out of a greater fear of the unknown, we hold on to things, people and situations not in our best interests, sometimes even hurtful and destructive. Fear binds; Love casts out fears. The fear you may lose your church, family and friends is genuine, this happens sometimes, but not as often as you think; or if rejection does come it lasts a while but with time the relationship is restored. If you are so closeted you feel you cannot be yourself and suffer for it spiritually, emotionally and physically, then it may be best to move on and/or out, and God will be with you every step of the way. If some people or groups reject you, then perhaps they never really accepted you to start with; and, if such happens, trust the God who will restore all you might lose and heal all the wounds you could suffer. God is not only the Person who made you, but also the Person who shall sustain you. You need to continue to honor and respect others, but also honor and respect yourself, and never compromise yourself for temporal comfort.

If God went to all the trouble to give you fingerprints no one else has, then Jesus also has a plan unique to your life. Peer pressure is a terrible enemy for young people, making you think if you are unique and different then you are weird and funny. Actually, looking, acting and being like everyone else is being weird. Other people who write me later in their lives often feel they have gotten on the wrong path, or made too many mistakes to change, and that is not true, either.

Seek God, and Jesus will give you His plan for your life, including your sexuality. Remain in prayer and praise, study the Word of God, keep your mind and heart in Christ, and keep your body balanced and healthy. Just as you learn about your sexuality, learn and grow in your God given talents and abilities, and seek out the dream to fulfill them. Don't go after something you cannot be, neither give up on the goal of doing what you're meant to do in God.

In learning to be a good godly woman of God, walking in Love, you will learn how to relate to others and how to live in the future, which may seem so scary right now. I hope these words help. Stay in touch with me. I always like to hear from people again. I wash your feet. Peace and hugs, Ben

See Also: Coming Out Autobiography, Coming Out, Beyond Coming Out, Books - Coming Out, Coming Out Links.

ext page for wisdom and advice on thanks for the website, my husband is gay, sex outside of a relationship...

Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Page Three - Thanks for Your Website, My Husband Is Gay, Sex Outside of a Relationship Gay Christian Wisdom And Advice - Page One - Being Gay Is Wrong, Why Sodom Was Destroyed, Ben I Think You Are Cute, The Role of Women

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