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veryone seems to "know" what Christianity is, but few can agree about how to live it. It's easy if you follow the original model, Jesus; it's easy to get off base if you take your focus off of Him. Much of what people think is Christianity is really religion. There is a difference. If you are not sure what the differences are, I suggest you read my article True Verses False Christianity, and then return to these pages to learn how to live a healthy and productive Christian Life.
hough you, as a Gay Christian, are not bound by the Law of the Old Covenant, in searching the Scriptures of the New Covenant, I am amazed at the number of references on the topic of sexual ethics, exhortations to flee from sexual impurity, and the elevation of the purity of sexual maturity and its proper expression.
Your body is not something to be ashamed of, it is and can be a thing of beauty, the earthly vessel in which you live in this world. You need to take care of it, keep it balanced and healthy. Learn how to live a healthy body life in my article on Gay Christian Athletics. The human body is beautiful, and so is sex. But, both have to be in submission to your spirit, and walk in harmony with each other. If you have a positive and healthy spirit, you will see your body in this way, and walk healthy in your body and body choices. There is nothing wrong with admiring the beauty of the human body, but rather our motivations determine the health of such admiration and our desires.
Love is not sex and sex is not Love. Sex is biological, physical, emotional and spiritual. You, as a gay person, should especially know sex is not given just for biological reasons, procreation, for not all gay people are blessed with the opportunities to parent a child. No, sex is far more. Sex is a binding thing, it joins and binds two bodies together, and it also has the potential to join and bind two hearts together. You can have sex and bond only physically, but you cannot be bound and joined together in relationship to another person without the desire to be somehow connected physically to each other. There is nothing basically evil, dirty, or sinful in sex, it is how it is expressed, and the motivation behind that expression, which can give rise to error. Therefore, it is important to learn what role and purpose God has for sex and how it is to be a part of your life as a Gay Christian.
Frosting is sweet, wonderful, inviting, hard to resist; but, eat too much and it will make you sick, throw your blood sugar off balance, or make you addicted to it, ever needing to increase the appetite to get the same "high." Cake, in and of itself, is adequate, but just barely; nutritious, yes, but by itself dull, boring, incomplete. Together, however, cake and frosting makes a wonderful dessert, the frosting elevates the cake and the cake supports the frosting.
Frosting is sex and cake is relationship. Too much sex will leave you empty, shallow, even addicted. Relationship without affection is incomplete. A relationship can exist without sex, as in the cases of couples facing illness, emotional or physical challenges, but they must be reinforced by other means of sweetness, affection. Nothing can compare with the depth of sexual pleasure achieved with someone with whom you deeply care, love and abide with in the bonds of life long relationship; what goes on in the bedroom is dependent on what goes on outside the bedroom, between the hearts of the two people bound together in commitment.
Though Scripture has often been misinterpreted regarding sexual orientation, it says a lot about its expression. Sexual expression is bound by the Law of Christ, the Law of Love, as all other aspects of being; you are to express your sexuality in Christian Love. Though there is, today, all manner of sexual expression within the straight community, there ever remains the shadow of procreation. But, for the Gay Christian, the possibility of procreation is generally removed. There are no sexual guidelines for gays and another for straights, for you are under Christ and under His Law of Love, and it applies equally to both gays and straights.
I've had people try to justify to me their sexual activities by saying they were "showing caring love to the person they were 'humping' last night." I've even heard churches compromise the Law of Love by teaching it's "ok to have sex, just do it in a loving way." Well, I boldly and without regret say to you, and believe without question, the Scriptures teach:
Any sexual expression which uses and/or abuses the other person or is motivated selfishly is Scripturally questioned and is not Christian Love."
Do I need to go further into any more detail or do you get the general picture? Any such activity, whether you're gay or straight, is not an expression of God's Love. Sex within God's Love plan is given to elevate your life. Scriptures continually admonish you to flee from sexual expressions done outside of the Law of Love. We are told not to resist sexual temptations but to flee from them, run and run fast.
Christians, whether gay or straight, are not compelled to reproduce nor be joined to another in relationship; in fact, you are encouraged to set aside all feelings of being somehow incomplete for not having a mate and to concentrate on your place in the Body of Christ. But, if you are blessed or cursed, however you look at it, with a high sexual drive, Scriptures encourage you to channel it in a Godly manner, Love.
If God leads you to a mate, what a blessing, and God shall give you the ability to live as a good and rewarding couple; if not, what a blessing still, and God shall give you the ability to live a good and rewarding single life.
Your sexuality is to be rooted and grounded in Love just like all other aspects of your being; it is your heart which shall be revealed in your attitudes, and your attitudes revealed in your actions. Your sexuality is to be surrendered to God just as all other aspects of your being. Let me ask you this: Can you look upon another person's naked body in your neighborhood gym shower, admire it from a heart of purity and respect for the human form the same as if you viewed the same person fully clothed? Your heart knows you best.
Personally and truthfully, I was blessed (or cursed) with very high sex drive, I love it a lot, have difficulty controlling myself, but I write these things not because I have a hang-up about sex, but rather to share the blessings I have learned from it. I have known and experienced much pleasure and pain sexually and I know first hand the joys of its proper place and expression and the pains of failure, setting aside priorities and commitments. I have learned from God the joys of sexuality when expressed within the framework and guidelines of God's Love. If you follow the Law of Love I promise you you will not miss out on something sexually, but instead learn the wisdom of its purpose and the talent of its proper place and expression.
If you have failed to abide by God's Love in your sexuality confess it and receive forgiveness, healing and cleansing.
If you have failed to walk in Love sexually, I invite you to pray this prayer:
God will not permit you to be tempted beyond what you can handle and you must seek the power and Love of God's Spirit within you. If you need to, seek out professional help to assist you learn how to walk in Love in your sexuality. If, at this reading, you have never been sexual with another person, you are not less than others and should be applauded, difficult thought it may be for you; continue to seek God's will and strength to use your sexuality wisely. Do not deny your sexuality, for that would be denying a part of yourself, rather accept it and channel it properly through God's Love. God has a plan for your sexuality just as with other areas of your life; trust God and be at peace.
Sex is a special gift from God, and used properly it can be a blessing to you.
John 8:1-11; Rom. 13:9-10; I Cor. 5:1-13; 6:15-20; 7:1-40; 10:8, 13-14; II Cor. 10:3-5; Gal. 5:16-19, 24; Eph. 5:3-4, 11-12; Heb. 13:4; James 4:2-10; I Peter 2:11-12; 4:1-4.
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