Gay Christian Online - Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian Christian - Page Eight - Beyond Coming Out, And Conclusion
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 Gay Christian Online - Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian Christian - Page Eight - Beyond Coming Out, And Conclusion

Defining Sexual Orientation
Misinformation About Sexual Orientation and the Consequences
The Consequences of Living In The Closet
Who You Are And Can Be
Coming Out Internally
Before You Come Out Externally
Coming Out Externally
Beyond Coming Out

Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian Christian - Beyond Coming Out HOME

oming out is essential to healing and the finalization of self as God intends. But, there is a step further, that of making gay into what it really is... no big deal... a "non-issue."

To God, being gay is a non-issue. It only becomes an issue when it is out of balance, if it is seen exclusive to the rest of what makes you who you are, when it operates outside of Christ's Law of Love. It is an issue to some people because of the inability to see diversity within God's creation, or because of prejudices, stereotypes, misinformation, fear, denial, self-hatred or insecurities.

Being gay means being you, being yourself, and that is really quite mundane, dull and boringly normal. It means being true to yourself, your sexuality, your life and world, and your God. So being out means being both the boringly normal you that you are, and being the special person that you are, too.

When you first come out, you seek out those who are similar; you desire connection, support and reinforcement. You want to make connections with other gays and lesbians; this is totally normal and healthy. But, there comes a time, for those who embrace growth and maturity, when you both desire and need to return to the rest of society and become a part of it, too. In the rest of society, and in the rest of the world is where I think Christ desires us to finally find ourselves.

Ben - Casual Picture - See Gay Christian AutobiographyLife is always a seeking of balance, between being part of the group, being accepted by the greater whole, and being an individual, unique and special. If you are too individual you get branded as eccentric, nerdish, etc., if you're too much part of the group you dissolve into the whole.

Gays and lesbians who never move on beyond just coming out get trapped in a world that gets its identity in sexuality. They decorate their lives with rainbow flags and stickers, embrace a vocal minority who try to "look" or "act" gay, feel like they have to think and act like the "group" to be really gay. It's fun to be around other gay people, but sadly many gay people make the same mistake many Christians make.

Before a person became a Christian most of his friends were non-Christian, but once he became a Christian, as time passed, he drifts away from his original friends, and ends up only having Christian friends, and is completely surrounded and immersed in a "Christian world." Some Christians pull away from society, isolate themselves with only other Christians of similar beliefs and values. The result is the rest of society suffers from their lack of interaction; how can a sick world be healed if the healers as in hiding? Such should not be the case, because Christ said we are to live in the world, just not be corrupted by it.

This is similar with being gay; you should abide in the greater world, being yourself without compromise. You should walk in your sexuality wherever you are, and within the greater social whole, not separating yourself, associating and living around only those of like mind and persuasion. In your interaction with other people, you witness to them the truth about the boringly normalness of being gay, and in so doing you elevate both society and yourself. Living as a positive example of someone who is gay or lesbian, you help dispel the stereotypes, misinformation, and mistaken beliefs of other people about what it means to be gay.

Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian Christian - Conclusion HOME

fter coming out internally and externally, have fun, explore your life, make friends and connections, learn, expand and grow. Grow and mature in your self-confidence and self-esteem, and become a mentor to other gay and lesbian people coming out, too. But, at the same time, do not neglect the world around you; people need you, both gay and straight.

Sharing your sexuality is sharing that which is but a very small part of who you are, a non-issue. Love compels you to be yourself, not be someone you are not. You do not compromise self for acceptance. But, neither do you broadcast to everyone your business. You share your sexuality when it is important. When you abide in the larger society and community, living or working within it, being yourself, tempering yourself around other people, and walking openly in your sexuality without flaunting it, then you have found life beyond coming out.

Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian Christian - Page Seven - Coming Out Externally

ee also these related articles and information...

Gay Christian Books

Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian

Coming Out to ParentsBorhek, Mary V.
Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents: Revised and Updated. Cleveland, OH:Pilgrim Press, c1989, 1993.

Sorry, No Picture AvailableCorley, Rip
The Final Closet: The Gay Parents' Guide for Coming Out to Their Children. Miami, FL:Editech Press, c1990.

Coming OutEichberg, Rob
Coming Out: An Act of Love. NY:Dutton, c1990.

Ask and TellEstes, Steve
Ask and Tell: Gay and Lesbian Veterans Speak Out. University of North Carolina Press, c2007.

Now that You're Out of the ClosetHandel, Linda
Now that You're Out of the Closet: What About the Rest of the House? Naperville, IL:Sourcebooks, c2000.

Coming Out and DisclosuresHunter, Ski
Coming Out and Disclosures: LGBT Persons Across the Lifespan. Haworth Press, Inc., c2007.

Becoming GayIsay, Richard A.
Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance. NY:Henry Holt & Co., c1996.

Being HomosexualIsay, Richard A.
Being Homosexual: Gay Men and Their Development. NY:Avon, 1990, c1989.

Coming Out of ShameKaufman, Gershen & Raphael, Lev
Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives. NY:Main Street (Doubleday), 1997, c1996.

Being HomosexualMiller, Stuart Howell
Prayer Warriors. NY:Alyson Books, c1999. (A good account of someone coming out in a religious family. However, the author now questions much of Christianity. Christ isn't the problem, but rather people).

Sorry, No Picture AvailableMuchmore, Wes & Hanson, William
Coming Out Right: A Guide for the Gay Male. Boston, MA:Alyson Pub., c1991.

Uncharted LivesSiegel, Stanley & Lowe, Jr., Ed.
Uncharted Lives: Understanding the Life Passages of Gay Men. NY:Dutton, c1994.
Outing YourselfSignorile, Michelangelo
Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian and Gay to Your Family... NY:Random, c1995.

Gay Christian Links

Coming Out As A Gay Or Lesbian Internet Website Links

All Together (Coming Our Resources)
Coming Out
Coming Out
Coming Out Guide for Gaydads
Coming Out HomePage
I Think I Might Be a Lesbian....
Out Proud! National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Youth
Read This Before Coming Out to Your Parents
Resource Guide to Coming Out

How To Be A Gay Christian

True Verses False Christianity

Gay Christian Self-Esteem

Living The Gay Christian Life

Gay Christian Relationships

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