This Page - Gay Christian, Gay Christians, Lesbian Christians coming out. (Learning to come out internally, seeing your sexual orientation as totally normal, natural, and healthy, and fully accepting and loving yourself).
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oming out puts to death and buries the final lingering effects of your old ways of thinking about yourself, and the former false or incomplete you. Coming out means embracing the liberating new you, and expressing your full self. Coming out means coming out of the shadows and into the light, feeling and experiencing the Love and warmth of Jesus, the Son of God. Coming out brings nothing but gain; any appearance of loss is not real. Any loss you experience through coming out actually means you are losing something that was never of value to begin with, a false sense of shame, a false identity, a false world, false friends and family, and begin to now gain things of more lasting, real, and positive value.
Your value and worth is not dependent on what you do, where you live, what you've accomplished, or where you're going. Nor is it dependent on who you're friends are and how many friends you have, where you go to church, how wealthy you are, how poor you are, what you look like, what you don't look like, whether you are in a relationship or not. Your value and worth is dependent on who you are in Jesus Christ. Who you are in Jesus Christ is a child of God, and that is sufficient.
Seeing yourself as a child of God, of inherent worth and value, gives good fertile ground upon which to plant, grow, nurture and harvest a life of positive meaning. You feed yourself upon the Word of God, through both the Scriptures and in relationship with Jesus Christ Himself, your Living Word of God. You water yourself with the Holy Spirit, who, through prayer, and using the Law of Love as your guide, you are cleansed, refreshed, growing, and are edified. You abide on the Vine of Christ, you strive and struggle not to produce good fruit; you just rest and relax in God, and allow God to teach and nourish you. You allow Jesus to prune your branches, remove the dead ones that do not produce fruit, gently guide and strengthen those which do produce positive growth and edification. You recognize you have been grafted onto the greater Vine, Jesus Christ, through your adoption into the Family of God, whereby God becomes your Da-Da, Jesus your Brother, Mentor, and Coach, and other Christians as your siblings.
You recognize you are unique, Loved by God, designed by God. You recognize your sexuality as a part of who you are, and of its value and proper place in your life. You recognize the gift of your sexuality, and your desire to be God's best in it as well as every other aspect of your life. You surrender and submit your sexuality to Christ, whereby Jesus is able to then teach and guide you into its proper place and expression. You understand and see being gay as acceptable, that it can be healthy and normal, a part of God's plan for you and your life. You apply the principles of Love to yourself and your sexuality, choose to walk in newness of life and not the old ways, the old patterns of self use and abuse, denial, suppression or repression, or self-hatred. You recognize and reject turning to substance abuse, compulsive and addictive behaviors, and poor or addictive relationships as ways of handling your sexuality and life, and instead embrace Love. You reaffirm your newly found image in Christ, your positive sexuality and sexual orientation, and you nurture it, build positively upon it, and reinforce the good within it. You nurture and encourage the continual development of new life skills, the new good qualities of your life and personality. You take better care of yourself, have a more positive and healthy self-esteem. You Love yourself. You Love yourself because you know God Loves and accepts you.
You are of value and inherent worth. You are of value not because of what you do, but because of whom you are, a child of God. You do not have to do anything to gain God's acceptance and Love. You do not have to change your sexual orientation, suppress it or reject it, nor deny it and repress it; instead, you can express it rightly within God's desires and design for you and your Life. You are an individual, unique in creation. No one else has your gifts, talents, or abilities. You have a place in the family of God, of equal value and importance to someone else. You do not compare yourself to others, but to Jesus; you do not listen to counsel that is not Love, which leads not to your edification and growth, but rather to the Holy Spirit, to Jesus, and to godly people who also walk in Love and know Jesus. You have the right, and the need to be yourself, totally and completely, in all areas and aspects of self, including your sexuality. You are not whole, and neither is the family of God, when you are not yourself fully, not walking in Love in all you are and do. In the past you did the best you could, not knowing any better, trying hard to live and have meaning, but now you lean on and trust in God's best for you. You let go of your past poor self-image, and affirm your new image in Christ. Through Christ you can Love yourself and receive Love.
You can now better handle life, and life situations. You are confronted with many of the same situations, people, events, and environments perhaps as before, but you now have Love and the God of the Universe to help you handle them properly. Together, you and Jesus work through life instead of avoiding it, handle life instead of denying it, enjoy life instead of hating it. You use the tools God has given you, the skills and qualities to bring about healthy living. In learning to Love self, you desire to take better care of yourself, not abuse your body, mind of spirit. You exercise, watch what you eat and drink, watch what you do and listen to, choose healthy and positive activities. You have fun, enjoy life, and experience it.
You are now, totally and completely, yourself, on the inside. You cannot properly and effectively deal with the world around you until you first get some measure of ability to deal with yourself. When you can handle self, you can handle just about anything. It is now time for you to begin, with Jesus' help, to create your own life.
This is your life, it is no one else's; you have the right to it, you have the right to live it, or not. It's your choice. Jesus desires for you to live it, and to live it more abundantly. God wants you not only whole, but living whole, living a good and productive life. You have the right to be yourself. But, you have to walk in yourself and your personal liberties in Christ in Love and respect for the world and people around you. You have the inherent right to "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness," but not at the expense of everyone else. Love builds up self and others, and brings them together. You have rights, but it takes Love to walk in those rights with responsibility and wisdom.
Good and healthy boundaries set the stage for a proper relationship with God, with self, and with other people. You learn how to set healthy limits within the guidelines of Love. Love does not desire the use or abuse of self or other people. You can set limits for yourself; limits on what you will do or not do, say or not say, be or not be. These limits all comply with the Law of Love. You choose to do that which edifies self, God, and other people, and reject things that are not Love. You choose to say things to self and other people that are positive, of good report, which uplift and edify, and refuse words and behaviors that bind and hurt, which wound and demean. You choose to be yourself in Christ, positive and affirming, and reject being someone other than whom you really are, nor be someone who is less than you should or could be.
You have the right to your own body. You have the right to choose to use your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. You have the right to express yourself through your body through Love, making healthy and wise decisions and choices. You have the right to reject your body's abuse and misuse, either by yourself or by other people. Love compels you to respect the rights of other people over their bodies, and not desire to use or abuse them, either. You have to right to refuse anything that leads to the abuse of your body, or anyone else's body.
You have the right to live your own life. You have the right to your own thoughts, opinions, values, culture, ethics, needs and desires, hopes and dreams, goals and objectives. You have the right to them when they comply with Love. You have the right to reject any thought or opinion that is not Love, and embrace those that are Love. You have the right to your own space, and to operate in it, within the boundaries of Love and in proper relationship with others. You have the right to your own thoughts and opinions, to embrace those beliefs that are positive and reject those that are negative. You have the right to make your own decisions and to act on them, when they comply with Love. You have the right to be all you can be in Jesus Christ. But, rights are just rights, abilities and opportunities. You have to act upon them, apply them, walk in them, do and be them.